29 Sep 2010

"Stick it up, mister!
Hear what I say, sir, yeah...
Get your hands in the air, sir!
And you will get no hurt, mister, no no no"

As I write this I'm sitting on a National Express coach and there's one of those families on board.  You know the ones, they speak loudly and seem like they were first cousins waaaay before they were ever husband and wife.  The ones at school who had a reading age of eight... when they were sixteen.  They all look remarkably the same, all three generations are going on holiday ...to my town sadly.  The granny is busy taking photos out of the coach window on her mobile.  The noises are both switched on her phone and on her family.  She is busy taking photos of everything, a post box, a phone box, a boat of some description, a lampost with Battersea bridge in the background, Chelsea embankment, The Thames, a tree.  Presumably apart from the river she has none of these things in her town?  I haven't the heart to tell her that none of the shots will come out because she is using the flash.  It wouldn't have been very interesting anyway I'm sure but several shots of just a white square may be of interest to Yoko Ono but not normal people.
Thankfully as an intellectual barrier between myself and the family that smell of cabbage is a couple of ladies who are talking about architecture and the design of some of the buildings we pass.  I think it's a good job that dumbness isn't contagious otherwise the whole bus would be infected by the time we reach Hounslow and the two intelligent ladies would be discussing X Factor before we reached Hammersmith.  Deciding that they couldn't be heard despite them sitting next to each other they first eat some nice smelling food and then kip.  Damn my anti dumbass firewall is down.  I put my ipod antidote on and watch as we pass Hammersmith, Chiswick and join the M4 where we pass the world famous Heston Services (fuck I sound like my father who would spend hours talking about the route he would drive between North Norfolk and Bournemouth... with every junction included).  I watch as the higgeldy piggeldy rooftops turn into to trees as they flash past.  The home counties are a blur and I try to type on my netbook as we bump over the cats eyes into a different lane.  My legs are killing me, I have blisters the size of apples on my feet and sweaty socks.  It's been a rather succesful day as I didn't spend every penny I had in one go in Forbidden Planet, just some of it in Mega City Comics, Camden.  The fact that I have money left means that I don't have to spend the rest of my week off in solitude playing on the Xbox 360 and PS3... but probably will anyway.

3 comments:

Music for Songwriters said...

sounded like you had a dreadful ride!...

Anonymous said...

You still alive Mikey ??

Walt Jabsco

Mike said...

Ocassionally